Colleen Bookter, Duke Divinity School student and 2012 Umoja Project intern
The other day we did a GET UP (Girls Empowerment Team of the Umoja Project) session with the middle school aged girls at four of the Umoja partner schools. Our topic to cover was HIV/AIDS. Simple enough, right? Wear condoms. Know the HIV status of your sexual partners. Fewer sexual encounters mean fewer chances for infection. Don’t share razors. Shaking hands and hugging are safe ways to interact with people with HIV. Sharing food and a toilet are also safe. Avoid blood, semen, vaginal discharge, and breast milk as they carry the highest concentration of the virus.
Yeah, but it’s not that simple!
The Peace Corps Life Skills book for this region of Africa that we were using to help plan the event suggested that we teach the ABCs of HIV. The ABCs are universally taught.
A = Abstain
B = Be faithful
C = Condoms
I think I was taught the ABCs of HIV back in the US when I was the same age as these girls. And it makes sense – following these three directions is bound to greatly decrease one’s chance of contracting HIV.
But how could we teach these things in this culture?
Yes, as a child growing up in the US, I could say no.(Although, that isn’t the reality for many children in the United States who are abused or forced to work on the street to survive.) And these girls in Kenya can also say no, but it’s not the same here.
ABSTAIN. Really, abstain? Let’s think about this. Each of these girls is a partial or total orphan living in a highly patriarchal culture. Abuse and sexual exploitation is rampant. And additionally the children in Kenya are constantly reminded of how education is the only way to improve their quality of life. Education is everything to these students. It is so different from the United States. The high school students at the St. Gabriel’s Minor Seminary, a Catholic secondary boarding school for boys discerning a call to the priesthood that I stay at, wake up at 4:00AM each day to begin studying. They start class at 7:00AM and continue until 5:00PM or so, but after that they continue with remedial lessons with their teachers until late in the evening. Then they do their homework late into the night, only to wake up the next day at 4:00AM. Even primary school students attend class on Saturdays. And most of the female students who don’t board have several hours of house work to complete in addition to their school obligations. Education is top priority in this culture.
Students fight to remain in school. They would do anything for the opportunity to receive an education. And they do. These girls accept the offers of their male classmates to have sex with them in exchange for notebooks for class and other needed school materials. They accept the advances of older men who might assist with their school fees or buy them their required school uniform. Because of this, I spoke with the girls at the GET UP program about saying no to those advances and offers. I told them that they were beautifully created children of God, who were known, loved, and adored by the one who created them.
Mandy reminded them that they were treasured possessions of God (Deuteronomy 7:6). I told them that they were more valuable than a notebook of paper that costs at most 50 shillings (roughly 70 cents). And they are.
But my words were so hallow. These girls are valuable. They are children and treasures of God. They deserve so much more. But how can I tell them to “just say no.” As if it was that simple. As if saying no wasn’t resulting in them losing their school fees and giving up on any opportunity for success or a life that they have any control over.
Abstain, be faithful, and wear condoms. I felt like a fish out of water. Could I have been any less sensitive to the realities of their situations? Statistically, nearly a 1/4 of these girls have been sexually abused or exploited. Who am I to direct them when I am so out of touch with the realities of their lives?
These girls are valuable. They are tremendously more valuable than the few pieces of paper that they are surrendering themselves for. But can I really stand in front of them and tell them to forfeit their opportunity for education (and better and fuller life) over their purity? I just don’t know. I don’t know what God wanted me to say. But I’m pretty sure God had some other words in mind. I’m pretty sure words aren’t enough for the reality of this situation. I can’t see the answer for these girls. I’m pretty sure God knows it, but I’m struggling to trust in that.